The I-Thou Relationship

Relationships are inherent for our survival as a species. From childhood to young adulthood, the core developmental stages revolve around relationships - how we survive, differentiate, and relate in relationships. 

The term "I-Thou" was initially coined by the philosophy of Martin Buber, a Jewish existentialist philosopher, and is now used by many Gestalt and Experiential Psychotherapists. In his influential work "I and Thou" (1923), Buber explores the nature of human relationships and distinguishes between two modes of relating: the "I-Thou" relationship and the "I-It" relationship. An "I-Thou" relationship is having a deep and meaningful connection where we truly see and understand each other; we each have a respectable role of autonomy and choice. On the other hand, an "I-It" relationship is more transactional, like seeing someone as an object or a means to an end. As a therapist, I prioritize I-Thou. 

Scientifically, the I-Thou relationship involves limbic resonance, which is the emotional connection and synchronization between individuals, fostering mutual understanding and empathy. This activation and synchronization happens in our neural circuits, including the mirror neurons and limbic system. 

Philosophically, if the relationship has mutual understanding and safety, an opportunity for exploration presents itself. The I-Thou relationship is, at its core, mutual understanding and safety; safety equals opportunity, and opportunity paves the way for healing.